Backbackers guide to a better city

The idea is to list measures which will be extremely inexpensive, yet potentially very effective and will help make the city a better, liveable place. No need to spend billions on infrastructure projects that will only be white elephants and get outdated by the time they are operational.

a) Ban cars with certain prefixes/suffixes on certain days within entire city or atleast in the high congestion areas. This will reduce traffic by 20% with 1 stroke. E.g. all automobiles having numbers ending with 0,1 can be banned from city roads on mondays, 2,3 on tuesday and so on.
This has been tried in other cities in the world and has proved effective. Mumbai has a great public transport system in terms of autos, taxis, trains, buses, so those people who cannot get their cars out, can surely use the alternative forms of transport or better still, car pool.

b) Stagger office hours. Incentives to be provided to industry to stagger office hours.
Some can start at 7 AM, some at 8, and so on.
Not only will this reduce peak hour loads on the public transport system and the roads, but also dilute peak hour power requirements.

c) Charge parking on all city roads, on the lines of Kolkata. Restrict movement within the inner city commercial district of nariman point, fountain etc.

d) Oh highways, implement a car pool lane during peak commute times. With preference to those cars having more 4 or more. I know it's a bit harsh, but in India almost every car has 2 or more passengers at any given time.

Where's my Culture Curry?

I can imagine the plight of the millions of Americans who have lost much valued column-space to the phenomenon that is Michael Jackson. Regaled with reams of speculative tripe upon the development of a dead case for the past year, (no doubt coupled with the lamentable loss of actual news and opinion) you cannot blame America for resonating with hushed is he, is he nots and does he, does he nots. All this for a case of suspected paedophilia that would have taken not more than 2 months to sentence in a lower court addressing commoners. Such is America.

Then ofcourse, riddling the path of the reader are the various glitzy potholes presented by the latest society scoops on the likes of Paris- Sharis, Britney-Shitney. Columnists wonder, is that The engagement ring; ohmigod, are they already hitched; is that a bump I see? Again, scores of columns are wasted upon the futile questioning of the current social/marital/sexual status of the latest ‘It’ thing. Yet, such is America.

Not that the ‘It’ bug hasn’t caught on here. We too produce the local variety of starlings, star-kids and star-struck by the bushel. Heck, what do you think the crowning jewel of the Times is, its middling Middle? Page 3 rules, we even have a movie to prove it.

But who would have thought a bunch of Gujju-bhais and a family saga to trump all the K’s (they actually have real crores to fight over) could have gobbled all the column space and made even that most veritable Sunday institution, the culture pages, redundant? Imagine my irritation this morning when I opened the Sunday newspaper, warm cuppa at hand, only to find my very favourite pages- Culture Curry and Book Mark- guzzled by more articles overanalysing the finer aspects of the Reliance split. Book and music reviews, interviews with the intelligentsia and articles exploring the latest trends in politics and culture replaced by more Ambani-mania? Outrage!

One is compelled to ask, what is ‘It’ about the Ambani’s that has had the nation enthralled, share-holder or not? The story does have the makings of the perfect BO potboiler- family living in chawl build multi-crore empire, sons jump from HSC to Wharton, more money rains on the family than a Monsoon Dhamaka. And then suddenly it’s all gone like the Sea Wind- babuji’s untimely death and the brothers in arms turn brothers at arms- Ambani blood, sweat and tears oil the gossip mills. Maa finally intervenes, and it looks like it is happy-happy all around once again. Well, sort of.

The complicated lives of those in the public eye, especially in times of duress, seem to hold some sort of morbid fascination for those of us not blessed with the limelight. I disagree with the argument that it is merely the media which is obsessed with exploiting the tribulations of the famous. The media merely supplies what we demand- and we demand that which is in rich contrast to the plain.

Ofcourse, not everyone is interested in reading gossip about the famous; but it is without question that it sells. I wonder if it says as much about the double edged-sword of fame as it does about the disturbing global trend of ogling at those who make it to the upper echelons of society, industry and entertainment. Furthermore, does it not say much about the basic nature of the common man to take refuge from, as well as find some kind of skewered, but very real comfort in the ordinary bhaag-daud of his life?

An achiever makes himself, but the people make a celebrity. It is we who put them on the mantle and it is we who purport the right, therefore, to pry into all aspects of their life. I shudder as I realize that however unwanted and unwarranted such interference may be to the person in question, the subconscious feeling among the society and the media is that they owe us; those of us who read and those of us who care without caring- because we made them.

So when I opened the Sunday paper this morning and found the culture pages missing, I thought “Where’s my Culture Curry?” But I wondered later, has it already been served?